Dr. Seuss' Computer Manual
1. If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
2. If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-click icon puts your window in
the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and
your system's gonna crash!
3. If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on
your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer
down the hall, and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window
are as wavy as a souse, then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, cause as sure as I'm a poet,
the system's gonna hang!
4. When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk, and the microcode instructions cause
unnecessary risk, then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM. Quickly turn
off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom.
The Rules of Chocolate from Mallory Hoffman
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.
The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually
counteract each other?
Money talks. Chocolate sings. Beautifully.
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?
If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?
